the passing

She was part of my childhood.
Her death brings me back to those days of wearing a flower dress searching for an easter egg in her backyard,
washing dishes to impress her, and breaking one.
Of the water ring toy machine, in which you pushed a button and it made the rings swim upwards, trying to get them land in the correct spot.
Of the other mazes she had for us on her shelf, high above us.
Of her fascinating delicate items from her travels, i was never able to touch.

It brings me back to those afternoons being warned in the car on the way to her house to behave,
it brings me back to those nights in which the freeway lights zoomed past as i feel asleep to my dad behind the wheel and a belly full of her stew or lasana.
It brings me back to those never ending christmas gifts, the ribbons the trees the decorations, the fireplace and her warmth.
The pjamas that i will never get again from her.
Her big hugs and smiles and humming as she sorted through papers or washed dishes.
it brings me back to her stories, funny, and about an embarrising time and lessons on how not to let others influence who you are.

I wonder how much of my personality, my traits are from her.
I wonder how often she thought of me as I grew up and away.
I wonder if I wasnt close enough.

I remember her happily sitting in her chair watching others open gifts or eat, her joy in having us there was always apparent. she was a generous loving, always giving woman.
Her giggles about Gerry, her light humor and manner.

Her wisdom.
Her love.

I wonder if she is here with me now. I had left my spirituality so long ago, but with this pain I cannot accept to not believe she is here with me. Her presence is watching me, talking to me. She is happy being with us. She will continue to watch us. She will see us grow following her lessons and hopefully her generous way of always loving. And to bring humor with us in life.

a passing like this takes time for her to float away, her spirt is with me.

Algo para pensar en....

"Antes la gente puede hacerlo con sus propias fuerzas... pero después llego el gobierno para dar apoyo, y empieza la gente para no que quiere hacer nada sin el apoyo del gobierno, sin dinero. Y ahora la gente es flujo por eso. Hasta mis hijas" - Isabel de Toluca una comunidad en La Suiza


(Before the people were able to do it with their own strength but afterwards the government arrived to give money and the people began not to want to do anything without the help of the government without money. And now the people are lazy for this reason,  now even my children) - Isabel  from the community of Toluca

The Buddhist in the Old Market Serving Chicken Soup.

Today at the market I went to my favorite place for chicken soup.. but when I got there, there was a lot of commotion. Everyone was looking upwards and one lady was really upset. I was trying to look for a snake or something else dumb like that,  when I went to my chicken soup lady. I asked " what happened?" She replied calmly "They took the roof".  Misunderstanding her reaction but liking her calm presence in the caos, I sat down. I really wanted my soup... The sun landed on the table in front of me like never before, as I ate. Behind me some folks were arguing, obviously upset. I overheard that the plastic roofs were stolen, in ten minutes really fast. The conversations around me were of confused people, some upset. But the soup lady in front of me was smiling. I had to probe... "so they took your roof?" "Yes"...." but what are you going to do when it rains!" I was so confused that someone stole her and other roofs around her and she was still serving soup, calmly like nothing happened.....

and then her response came... "well its sunny today"