First night off

This is my first night off in a long time...
long time... since....well...
it feels... odd to be in my room alone. Ive been wanting alone time. ive been feeling overwhelmed for the whole month. but now that its almost 8pm and i have no where to go to and no one is here with me, it feels... odd... where am i suppose to be, what am i suppose to be doing? i have to say that all this stimulation has been great for doing my thesis. i know many would think the opposite, and definably it has been sometimes harmful to getting work done, but with all these emotions of our program ending, job searching, pressure, thesis work, more pressure and stress, its been necessary. its been a crazy month. really crazy. and stimulation keeps the stress going, the pressure on, and i accomplish more and more work on my thesis. my brain shuts down, my spanish has been bad lately and then really awesome. the movement of going through my day, does not allow my mind to wander. So i have been really happy not being able to analyze how crazy its been or my thoughts. Up.. go to coffee shop before i lose motivation, work on thesis intensely for three hours, eat (ive been eating out lately, poorly), break, 4pm study time, drink, party, party, bed. repeat.

Last night was a posada, my first! We had sparklers and asked for permission by singing to be able to come into the house.. like Joseph and Mary looking for a place to stay. We then hit the crap out of two  sponge bob pinatas... fun night, we ended early.. midnight.
The night before was wine with Jenael, then watching a movie with Damon and Cintia
The night before that was movie with Cintia and Damon
The night before that i was with cintia and damon and ekat, but headed home early
The night before that i got drunk off expensive whiskey at Dada with Ekat and Alesandro
The night before i got cheap beers with Cintia at Lupe and met up with group at Dada
The night before that I was at the guadalupe festival with ekat, alesandro....
The night before that was our CLTL goodbye dinner
The night before I hung out with charly for a bit then cintia and joshua., damon
the night before i took a night off since i was hungover
the night before i was up until 630am with charly partying
the night before i hung out with josh and then was at dada with ekat and alesandro and ana
the night before was an awesome chill party at a hostel with a bonfire
....movie, drank too much, hung out with josh, josh and i went to bar.. repeat for another two weeks.

The crazy thing is that the days were just as busy with interviews, workshops, thesis meetings, going to Tuxtla for events, EcoSur... and working really hard on my thesis. I am surprised honestly how stimulating my life is here and how i am able to keep up.

but the problem is nights like this one... and how to slow down.... how do i take a night off... how do i turn off my brain... how... to relax...